| So now, you finally arrive at
your desk and unfold your briefcase to let the work you brought home
spillover. You apologize to the person with whom you share a cubicle and
squiggle into your anti-ergonomic chair. Dang, it's time for that
production meeting, and you scurry into the conference room with pad and
pencil. The meeting drones on, as it does every week, and that third cup
of coffee finally gets you fidgeting, but you can't leave while your boss
is talking. That's when you find out your project will be re-evaluated,
rebudgeted and redone. Again. Same old grind, different day.
That's when you get a little misty-eyed. You used to read, to
learn, to think. And you really used to like buying all those shiny new
notebooks and pens. Boy, when mechanical pencils were invented, that was
just pure genius.
Those eyes should mist no more. As an adult, you've taken all the
prerequisites you need. Now it's time to take courses that you can really
use. The Bay Area is the nexus of fine universities as well as religious
and cultural institutes, a fair-weather locale where physical fitness can
be honed indoors and outdoors everyday; it simmers with intellectual and
spiritual activity. This is how learning is meant to be we just had to
grow up to appreciate it.
Fire up the neurons, because we're going back to school.
Resources
The traditional sources remain the local universities and colleges,
many of which offer evening and Saturday courses. You don't necessarily
need to undergo an admissions process unless you want to pursue a degree;
Cal State Hayward calls its process the Open University Program while
UC-Berkeley, not the extension program, allows "concurrent enrollment" in
college courses. Registration can be done by mail, fax, telephone and web
site; check your college's procedures. Auditing requires an instructor's
approval and space availability, but it permits you to undertake the
assignments without worrying about the grade. Many colleges provide
multiple class locations, and the costs range from $13 a unit to several
hundred dollars. Regular open houses and informational meetings allow you
to assess the students and faculty.
Adult education centers have vocational training as well as courses
in computers, languages, physical fitness, health, parenting, business,
genealogy, writing, dancing, art and even dog training. Prices can be $2
per class to several hundred a session. Institutes devote themselves to a
specific discipline such as massage, holistic health, cooking and art.
Some local institutes include the Institute for Hypnotherapy and
Psycho-Spiritual Trainings in Lafayette (283-3941, web site:
http://www.support.net/HCH/), and the American Institute of Massage
Therapy in Walnut Creek (945-8976).
Libraries, cultural centers, community halls, senior centers and
other public venues with a bulletin board paste up notices about events,
free lectures and lessons. One recent immigrant from Beijing posted an
offer for a free exchange of language lessons: English for Mandarin.
Public agencies and businesses such as computer stores provide
seminars within their field. Gyms, dance studios and martial arts training
halls often give short courses other than their regular sessions. Public
agencies such as the Central Contra Costa Solid Waste Authority offer
workshops like "Home Composting for Busy People." City governments, as
well as museums like the Richmond Arts Center, may also provide community
arts education program.
Opportunities to explore dimensions outside traditional academia
are rampant in the Bay Area. At coffee shops, bookstores and corner
stalls, stacks of free publications list the quirky, the thoughtful and
the scary.
Older man and woman on campus
UC-Berkeley Extension spans the campus and its satellite locations
in San Francisco, Marin, Contra Costa and San Mateo counties. Engineering,
biology and business courses designed for career-tuning primarily take
place off site. For the truly mind-probing classes, you need to go to San
Francisco and Berkeley. These courses tend to be more expensive, so review
the qualifications of your lecturer very carefully.
Extension hosts a public service series, "Critical Issues," with
presentations like "What Does It Mean to Be American?" Sit in on the Sept.
3 freebie; otherwise, the other three sessions cost $15 unless you're a
enrolled in humanities classes or a member of the California Alumni
Association.
For a practical home workshop, take the $10 "Wildlife Protection
Through Vegetation Management." The three-hour Saturday course (Sept. 27)
teaches how to build fire-resistant landscapes in tinderbox California.
Expand your artistic sensibilities with "Contemporary Art: Themes
and Controversies" ($275, S.F.). Work in 3D with "Pop Up! Books" ($275,
Berkeley) or hone those social and business skills with Improvisational
Theater ($230, S.F.). Besides Western classical, musical appreciation
includes "Swingin' With Duke Ellington" ($85, Berkeley), "Gospel Music: A
Passionate Heritage" ($185, Berkeley) and "Singing in Tune" ($165, S.F. or
Menlo Park).
The film courses have always been riveting, like the popular
"Science Fiction and the Crisis of Modernism" ($245, S.F.), where you
analyze utopian and dystopian visions in "Metropolis," "Star Wars," "Blade
Runner" and even "Star Trek," or the new "Red Scare: HUAC and Hollywood"
($245, S.F.) which reviews the 50th anniversary of the infamous Hollywood
hearings by the House Un-American Activities Committee.
Understand what goes in behind the headlines in "Murder and
Society: The Crime and Its Victims, the Perpetrators and the Law" ($175,
S.F.). Exorcise your guilt with the new "20th-Century Novels You've Been
Me>>aning to Read" ($250, Berkeley). Take a day to understand
"Women's Lives: Body and Soul" ($85), which includes discussions like "A
History of the Breast," "Goddesses and Whores: Secret Worlds of Meanings
in the Body" and "Do Girls Just Want to Have Fun'?"
Extension courses such as business, writing workshops, "Cultural
Diversity in the United States" ($375) and "Views of the Absolute in World
Religions" ($395) can also be taken through America Online.
A mixed bag
Sometimes higher learning comes with talk show testimonials. The
Learning Annex juxtaposes the trendy and the far-fetched, the tawdry and
the respected.
Sometimes the classes can be one long infomercial, but for
reasonable prices ($29 to $49), you can meet up with big names like Nora
Dunn, the woman who defied the male hierarchy in "Saturday Night Live," in
"How to Write and Perform Comedy" (Sept. 25), or writers summing up all
their years of research in one evening. The fall catalog features authors
such as Julia Cameron ("The Artist's Way"), Richard Carlson ("Handbook for
the Soul") and screenwriter Lew Hunter, chairman of the UCLA screenwriting
department.
Meet Dr. Mike Horton, a k a. Roark Critchlow from "Days of Our
Lives," who will pass on "How to Break into Soap Operas" (Sept. 27). Ply
your silken chords to "Make Money with Voiceovers in Radio and TV" (Sept.
17 and Oct. 29). Entrepreneurs will always have a vocation if they know
"How to Become a Wedding Planner" (Sept. 30) or just make their own tea
parties the envy of the Bay with hints from Black and White Ball producer
Queenie Taylor in "How to Become a Special-Event Planner" (Nov. 5). Make
prying profitable in "How to Become a Private Eye" (Sept. 11, Oct. 9, Nov.
6). You need to learn how to type reports, though, so "Learn to Type In
Four Hours" (Sept. 27, Nov. 15).
Have you finally realized your social skills verge on the abysmal?
Do you wish you had a loved one with whom to watch QVC or go on all those
great outings described in the Sunday paper? The >p>resident of an
"introduction service" tells men only "How to Meet/Ask Out the Women of
Your Dreams" (Oct. 24), but tells everyone how to avoid "10 Fatal Dating
Mistakes" (Oct. 7, Nov. 18).
If you think "Learn to Flirt" (Nov. 11) isn't tacky, check out "How
to Marry Rich" (Nov. 12), both guided by Ginie Sayles, "married to the
heir of a rich oil and ranching family." Maybe before you take all these
classes, though, you should get an assessment from San Francisco's Helene
Rene Salon in "Never Have Another Ugly Day! (Guaranteed!)" (Sept. 3, Oct.
8).
Does your Labrador greet you reproachfully every time you come home
from work? Does your cat disdainfully turn its tail on you when you reach
out? Just because you own your pet doesn't mean you understand it. Develop
"Telepathic Communication with Animals" (Oct. 7); your next zoo trip will
never be the same. Your pet may also be feeling ill but resent invasive
medical procedures. That's where "Traditional Chinese Medicine for
Animals" (Oct. 18) can heal, with acupressure, herbs and Chinese food
therapy.
If it isn't here,
it's out there
Open Exchange publishes Bay Area classes and services. The
September-October issue on "Back to School Training Programs" will be out
Aug. 26, but past classes have included "Men and Eating Disorders: Group
and Individual Art Therapy," which redirects compulsive eating and other
bingeing to art, how to be a private eye within a month (female minorities
encouraged) and how to make money in TV commercials. Quite a bit cheaper
than the UC Extension class is the $55 EAST BAY
IMpRoV workshops (525-2782, web site:
http://www.contrib.andrew.cmu.edu/usr/mp72/eastbay.html).
Women can learn the psychological and physical approaches to
protection through the Women's Safety Project (1-415-395-9895) and Bay
Area Model Mugging (1-800-773-4448, web site: http://www.bamm.org). Afraid
to venture into deep water? Look into "Miracle Swimming" (526-6000). Never
be outsmarted by an evil auto mechanic again after taking "Ba>si>c
Auto Mechanics for Men and Women" (1-415-285-8588).
Common Ground concentrates more on the inner voice by serving as a
directory of personal transformation. Consult its pages for weekend fire
walks through Inner Visions Center for Personal Growth (1-415-454-7195,
web site: http://www.inner-visions.com). Sign up at the Macrobiotic
Cooking School (653-8340). People can "reclaim their autonomy" with the
Berkeley Psychic Institute, a "psychic kindergarten" (548-8020, web site:
http://www.berkeleypsychic.com). The institute publishes its own free
tabloid, Psychic Reader, which can be read from the web site as well.
If the inner child just won't grow up, train it for good at the
Clown School of San Francisco (1-415-206-1765), Court Jester for Hire
(1-415-381-6569) and Kindergarten for Grown-Ups! ($185, 1-415-789-8132).
Open Exchange lists the competing San Francisco School of Circus Arts
(1-415-759-8123).
Cal State Hayward, Contra Costa campus: 4700 Ygnacio Valley Road,
Concord, 602-6700, web site: http://www.ccc.csuhayward.edu, quarter begins
Sept. 25. Chapman University: 2600 Stanwell Drive, Suite 110, Concord,
680-1407, web site: http://www.chapman.edu, quarter begins Aug. 25. Contra
Costa College: 2600 Mission Bell Drive, San Pablo, 235-7800, quarter
begins Monday. Diablo Valley College, 321 Golf Club Road, Pleasant Hill,
685-1230 and DVC Center for Higher Education, 3150 Crow Canyon Place, San
Ramon, 866-1822, web site: http://www.dvc.edu, quarter begins Monday. John
F. Kennedy University: 12 Altarinda Road, Orinda, 254-0200, web site:
http//www.jfku.edu, quarter begins Oct. 6. Golden Gate University: 801
Ygnacio Valley Road, Walnut Creek, 945-7132. The Learning Annex: 291 Geary
St., Suite 150, S.F., 1-415-788-5500. Los Medanos College: 2700 E. Leland
Road, Pittsburg, 439-2181, semester begins Monday. UC. Berkeley Extension:
1995 University Ave., Berkeley, 642-1111, web site:
http://www.unex.berkeley.edu:4243, most fall classes begin the first week
of September. Common Ground: 1-415-459-4900>, w>eb site:
http://www.comngrnd.com. Open Exchange: 526-7190, web site:
http://www.openex.com.
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